The average person thinks he isn't.
TREBUCHET
PROPERLY EQUIPPED LOBSTER
THE WELL-FASHIONED
It looks to me like the markings on the underside of an Onthophagus Scarabaeinae beetle. Which are, of course, poisonous to the body as well as the mind.
SOME CALL ME
The Admiral
LOCATION:
Big Sky, Montana
CURRENT OCCUPATION:
Ranchhand / Rocket Technician
PERSONAL EFFECTS:
Swiss Army knife, towel, belt, lockpick set, flint, pencil, prism. That's all I'll need.
SEND CORRESPONDENCE VIA:
CLASSIFIED AD TITLED "FOR SALE: TRACTOR" IN THE MUMBAI DAILY REGISTER
ANECDOTE FOR INAUGURATION CEREMONY:
THE DISCOVERY OF THE TEMPLE OF THE SETTING SUN
INTERESTING THINGS
Percent of all people (Your selection in bold)
INTERESTING
NOT INTERESTING
SALTING MEAT
59%
41%
WALRUSES (ALL KINDS)
68%
32%
BLEACH OR BLEACHED ITEMS
35%
65%
LEATHERSTOCKING (AS A NAME)
86%
14%
REWARD FOR PULLING A NIGERIAN PRINCE OUT OF QUICKSAND:
300 NGN
UNIQUE QUALIFICATIONS:
Listen, there are more experienced assistants out there. I've never sorted anybody's mail. I've never picked up anybody's dry cleaning. Nor do I intend do. All I can tell you is that I fly a mean helicopter, tame a mean rhinoceros, and carve a mean ice sculpture... all before brunch (which I never eat, as it combines two things I hate - mid-morning laziness and made-up words).
FAVORITE PLACE TO BUY MUSSELS:
Look, maybe I don't know much... But of course I'd put us down near La Rochelle (specifically on Les Minimes harbor, if possible). Authentic Eclade des Moules are hard to come by on a good day... and even harder to come by in St. Malo. It's in Brittany, for crying out loud. The English Channel versus the Bay of Biscay? Not even a fight. You might as well be eating fish and chips. St. Malo - don't insult my intelligence.
SOLUTION TO THE SYDNEY OPERA HOUSE INCIDENT:
I only know one magic trick... But this kind of situation is exactly when it's needed. You probably know it yourself - The Phoenix and the Salamander? If you know it, you need no further explanation. If not, I don't want this job.
